December 14, 2023
When we first moved in the screened porch was constructed, but we had not had time to install the screens. One night I woke up from the sound of an outside creature. I got dressed and walked outside onto the porch. The biggest spider in the history of spiders was directly outside the doorway. His eyes were two centimeters from mine. Something from the spirit world must have pushed me out of its way because I dodged death that day!
Can we please install these screens? “What are you trying to kill me?” This is my instant response to being put in harm’s way. Working together in business, relationships and in life can be challenging at times. The end goal might be the same but the approach to getting there can vary immensely! It often can be all about who’s in control.
“Who says this is the priority and that’s what needs to happen? If I am in charge of A, B, and C then shouldn’t it be the way I want to handle it and on my terms? Then, what about these other things that I need you to help me with. D, E, and F. These are my priorities and now they don’t seem important. They are important to me though.” These are the thoughts you may have when you aren’t prioritizing.
So, how do we prioritize? If all of the above has to or needs to get done, how do we get there without killing each other? You start by prioritizing. Why? Firstly, you need a place to start. Even though many tasks need to be completed, focusing on a starting point will get you going. The goal is to mark things off your list.
In looking at what is important to the we and the us the best thing to do is take away the you and the me.
While working on the house remodel, projects are dived out to be able to accomplish the most you can accomplish. Simple concept. So, if your skills are best doing the roof then you do that. If I am good at sanding the porch, then I do this. I may need help here and there reaching something I can’t reach. You may need me to hand you something to save you wasted time and energy going up and down the ladder. I stop what I’m doing and you stop what you are doing. We help each other and continue to complete our own tasks.
If you apply this concept to everyday responsibilities then nobody is left holding the brunt of the responsibility. Fingers can’t be pointed either. That’s never a good place to be. What each person is doing is important in the big picture, however, assisting the other will move the project along a whole lot faster. It’s all about your approach.
In business, you have to add an extra level of priority. Some days you have to stand up and say no, this has to take precedence. It may not be important to you but it is the most important thing today. I need it done. We need to move past this. You need to do it. It’s all for us either way you look at it. We have the same goal. In writing this site I often switched from I to we. It is written from my perspective. But we did it. He wanted this. I was focused on this, etc.
What’s important to one person has to be important to the other, even if you aren’t passionate about it. I may not care to listen to specs and technical information about a specific tool (Or maybe I do). However, I like to see why it is better and makes the job more efficient. That affects the big picture. Especially if I am the one using it and struggling all day long make it work! Now it does affect me. Then on the flip side, I may be the only one who really cares about how Grey or not Grey this accent piece of wood is. It may be important to me it looks a certain way. You may not mind how dark or light it is, for example. And, so on and so on.
Starting to understand the thought pattern behind each situation helps to engage. Understanding is key. If you understand why somebody else feels a certain way about something, you begin to respect their opinions. Then, you can decide how to help them and you will engage in the details to know why you are even doing what you are doing.
In the end, you have to let go of the control. We now both put time into everything. We are able to share our enthusiasm for our results. The results get done twice as fast. Even if one person invested more time than the other, we all had a hand in it. We did it together.
At the end of the day, you know that anything that was accomplished was for the us and the we. Not every project is fun, and having the help really makes it easier to push through it. Support may be enough, but actual help goes a lot further.
Nobody should ever feel they are on an island. If that is the case, you wonder what am I doing this for? Or, who am I doing this for, because in the end it’s all about the life you are designing together. Working together to get there is the only way. You will then see how far you can go. The results will always outshine the effort.
We finally installed the screens for the screened porch and that ridiculously large spider moved his home. I do appreciate what he’s doing, I don’t like certain bugs in my space. Except my pollinators, stay away from them!
Thank you for reading. We have a lot going on at the homestead! We are still planning our 2024 vegetable garden. However, we also are also planning our wedding. DIY of course! To save money on flowers we planted 2000 tulips in the field. We went with late spring bloomers in hopes to have flowers for the dinner rehearsal and also to add to the wedding bouquets. Fingers crossed! We went with single and double tulips. Have you ever seen the doubles? They are beautiful and in dusty rose and pink colors they should be perfect. What we don’t use we may set up a stand and sell to locals.
I will be posting links to some of the wedding decorations we went with as well to decorate the tables at the reception. Whenever you can save money it surely helps. Weddings are expensive and flowers are one of your main costs. We are using a local florist because some of the flowers we want would not be in season in April. Hopefully, we will end up with a combo of theirs and our homegrown flowers. It will definitely make it more personal to have our flowers set up on display.
Be sure to check out Rainy day Deals on the home page while you are here for links to products we love for the garden and home. Those worm castings we applied to the garden last year worked out well for the soil. Happy Gardening!
